THIS MONTH'S TITLE AT A GLANCE

PLANNED FUTURE TOPICS INCLUDE:

And Many More - Keep Checking This Site!

------------------------

ENDING YOUR MARRIAGE CAN DEMOLISH YOUR CHILDREN, Part Two

When a dysfunctional generation produces a second dysfunctional generation, the second generation has less of a psychological and ethical foundation from which to build. Therefore, troubled families can be severely disadvantaged in attempts to nurture and guide children to form healthy personality and attitudes; strong morals, character and relationships. Children can grow up angry, resentful, irresponsible, defensive, antagonistic, cruel, unstable, depressed, nervous, uncommunicative, rebellious, etc. In other words, parts of them can be psychologically deadened or crippled. This means that there will be more decline as the dysfunction snowballs into a subsequent generation. This makes society as a whole decline further, pulls us all down, drains our resources and energy, causes progressively more harm and destruction - and further decline as time goes on. WE ARE IN A SOCIOLOGICAL CRISIS THAT IS GETTING WORSE AND WHOSE SERIOUS NATURE WILL GUARANTEE CONTINUOUS WORSENING AND WIDENING UNLESS AND UNTIL WE PUT ON THE BRAKES AND TURN IT AROUND!

When a Jewish divorce case ends up in secular court, there are many problems. If the case did not go to court with the consent of a bais din, the partner who brought the case could be "in chairem" (halachic outcast of the Jewish people) and may lose the right to bring the case to bais din if this ever subsequently is wanted, the case can be a public chillul Hashem (profanation of G-d, for which one may never have atonement) or may provoke anti-semitism or scoffing, the child can be made a pawn or used as a weapon by one of the parents and become psychologically broken or distorted by the evil process, the woman may never achieve her get from the husband who she wants to separate from, or she may impede her ability to obtain a get settlement until she re-establishes a relationship between the father and each of his children.

People get caught up in their arguments, passions, demands and excuses. They lose sight of the impact they have on others, especially those who they allege to love. You will be slaughtering your children for your aims and desires. WHEN YOU ARE WILLING TO MAKE A SACRIFICE OF YOUR CHILDREN FOR SELFISH AIMS OR TO CONTROL OUTCOMES, CLAIMS OF LOVE FOR THEM IS A LIE. YOU YOURSELF ARE A CHILD AND THE ONLY CHILD WHO YOU LOVE. The impact of how you dissolve a marrage can continue for generations. When a Jew marries, it is "kidaas Moshe ViYisroel (according to Torah law and Jewish religion)." All aspects of a Jew's marriage are governed - including, rachmana litzlan, how to terminate that marriage, if necessary. The Jew must approach termination of marriage in a mature, responsible, "mentshlach" and long-run manner; with reason, halacha and two-sidedness. If you are past getting counseling on how to save your marriage, get CONSTRUCTIVE counseling on HOW TO SAVE ITS TERMINATION. Many more issues than you realize can be negotiated amicably and settled without antagonism or outside arbitrators. Clearing those issues out of the way can make resolving the remaining (or larger) issues much simpler and calmer when resorting to bais din. For example, rather than a wife fighting for tutor-money from the father, the father should learn with his son; or jointly and voluntary working out custody and visitation arrangements in which the mother parts with the child according to their schedule and the father financially maintains the child.

Make the saftey and well-being of your children an uncompromisable and non-negotiable priority. If you break a stranger's window and G-d says you have to pay in full for all damages; if you break your own children, how much moreso will He require you to pay in full for all damages!