The Torah's recounting of the flood tells us that when Noach wanted to see if the
waters dried up, he sent a raven out of the arc, and then a dove. The midrash tells us
that G-d forbade everyone - man and animal alike - to have marital relations while the
world outside was being destroyed. The raven was one of the few inhabitants of the arc
which sinned and violated this command from G-d. Further, the midrash tells us, when Noach
wanted to find out if the waters receded enough for disembarking from the arc back onto
the land, he first chose to send out the raven. The raven is an unkosher species, so there
were only two - one male and one female - on the arc and, therefore, in the world. The
dove is a kosher species, so there were seven males and seven females on the arc. The
raven had sinned, so if anything happened to it before it would fly back, Noach wanted
this sinful species to be the one to become extinct. The raven was upset at being chosen,
and he suspected that Noach wanted him to get killed so that Noach could steal his
"wife." Not only is it farfetched to suspect that a human being would covet, and
want to marry, a bird, but the Torah itself, at the beginning of this story, testified
that Noach was a tzadik (that's why he was saved from the flood!). The depth of the
message in this midrash is that when one's mind is evil or promiscuous, his mind works
that way "universally, across the board." The low person's mind will project
it's perversion or wickedness to even the most saintly person. After the raven came back
(indicating that dry land had not yet appeared), Noach later sent a dove. The dove is
chaste and is committed faithfully to one mate for a lifetime, in direct contrast with the
promiscuous raven. This teaches us the repair for the raven's character fault. This is the
proof that the raven's thinking was entirely wrong and misplaced, and that Noach was a
complete tzadik. By sending the dove thereafter, Noach showed that he stood for
faithfulness, purity and commitment. He was not interested in "Mrs. Raven."
Noach was interested in being "kosher." This is all represented by the dove.
"My perfection." We know no one who is pure and faultless. Be we can accept
our spouse and be satisfied AS IF the person is pure and perfect, by accepting faults,
"shticklach," hang-ups, shortcomings, quirks and habits; and by appreciating
wholeheartedly the qualities, attributes and strengths that make your mate special,
precious, beautiful and unique. With all your faults, I love you no less than if you would
be perfect.
Before, we differentiated two categories of fault: 1. those that make us imperfect
human beings and 2. those which are injurious. Again, there is never room for
damage-causing fault. We are talking about the category of faults that make us all normal,
imperfect humans.
By accepting imperfections and appreciating the positives, one can perceive one's mate
as one's "perfection." Even though not really perfect, you can love, appreciate
and value your mate as much as if your mate was perfect. You regard your mate no less than
someone perfect. You can be optimally happy, satisfied and peaceful with your "mate
of perfection."
"My beauty." One must be attracted to one's mate. Your mate should be one or
more of: beautiful, handsome, adorable, pretty, pleasant, cute, appealing...in your eyes.
"My beloved." There must be endearment for there to be a bond. Your mate
should be heartwarming to you. Through endearment, the couple has the love and affection
that brings the couple to true oneness for a lifetime. To borrow again from chapter one,
the essence of building this is through both giving for the good and happiness of the
other.
A well-known verse in Psalms (104:15) says, "Wine will make happy a person's
heart." An obvious question on this verse is that alcohol is a drug. It only can
furnish a fleeting, external, artificial effect. Your essential, intrinsic condition is
unchanged by the wine. There is nothing real about the happiness of wine. You only SEEM to
feel happy TEMPORARILY. What, then, is real happiness?
Song Of Songs does not only use the root word "dode (beloved)" in saying
"dodi (my beloved)." There is a verse (1:2) which also says "dodeicha (your
belovedness)," in saying, "Tovim dodeicha miyayin (your belovedness is better
than wine)." This can answer our question on the phrase in Psalms 104:15 just above.
A strong, loving and lasting marriage relationship that really works is an intrinsic,
authentic and beautiful thing. Such a relationship is better than the fleeting, seemingly
happy state that wine brings on. A real, complete and lasting marriage is true goodness
and happiness.
The number seven is very significant in the Torah. It represents creative completion.
The universe was created in seven days. Creation was completed on the seventh day, the
holy shabos. The nation Israel has seven forebears: Avraham, Sara, Yitzhok, Rivka, Yakov,
Leah and Rachel. The last of Yakov's children (Benyomin) was born to Rachel, the last of
the forebears, completing the twelve tribes of Israel.