THE GREATEST THING IN HUMAN RELATIONS IS PEACE [Beraishis Raba]. Chazal say [Perek HaShalom] that every major thing ends on a note of "shalom," for example Birkas Kohanim [the blessings by the Kohanim] and Shmoneh Esray [standing prayer]. This tells us that one should never leave any thing without peace.

Gemora Baitza tells how Raba, one of the Talmudic sages, was the rebbe of Rova and Abayay (who grew up to also be Talmudic sages) when they were little children. Raba asked Rova, "Where is Hashem?" Rova pointed upwards. Raba then asked little Abayay, "Where is Hashem?" Abayay ran out the front door, thrust his finger upwards towards the sky and pointed it in every direction. Raba said, with his ruach hakodesh (holy insight), "I see you two are going to grow up to be great Rabonim." Notice that Raba, one of "Chazal," did not say that Rova and Abayay were going to be great rabbis because they had terrific yichus or were masmidim in Lakewood who knew loads of masechtas. He knew they would be great rabbis because they had DUE RECOGNITION OF HASHEM. King David says, "I place Hashem before me always" (Tehilim 16:8). The Brisker Rov said to his son Reb Berel that always concentrating on this verse, keeping G-d with you and considering Him your master is a segula for protection. King Solomon says, "In everything that you do, know G-d" (Proverbs 3:6). The first step to being a happy and successful person is ALWAYS recognizing that Hashem is EVERYWHERE and that nice, proper behavior is defined - and evaluated - entirely BY HIM.

Every couple wants a happy marriage. The gemora says, "The happiness of a man's heart is his wife (Shabos 152a)" and "Her husband makes a woman happy (Rosh HaShana 6b)." At a bris (circumcision) we say that the boy should grow up to achieve "Torah, marriage and good deeds." Note the order! First, he must incorporate Torah into himself; then, only when he has genuinely embodied Torah, he can be fit for marriage; and, last, marriage is the most significant context for a life devoted to good deeds! "A woman's wisdom builds her house" (Proverbs 14:1). She uses her wisdom to protect her husband from downfall and to make him be successful. But, not all couples get along well and, sometimes, troubles escalate. Each partner must catch and stop his unworkable behaviors and patterns. All that they do and say to, and regarding, eachother must be always accomplished as nicely, cooperatively and considerately as possible.

Since we pray Shmoneh Esray every day and, in it, beseach Hashem for peace, if one does not fervently want, with his entire heart, to have peace with every one in his life, and among all Jews, his prayer is livatala [in vain]. The prayer has Hashem's name, and saying G-d's name in vain is a serious sin. One who is in dispute with another, and does not genuinely yearn and strive for peace, prays three times a day, with G-d's name, in vain. Besides all sins associated with hate, alienation, anger or fighting; one can accumulate thousand of sins just by praying Shmoneh Esray daily - unless (s)he truly longs and works actively in all ways humanly possible for peace.

Rabbi Shimon Ben Gamliel (Avos DeRebi Noson 28:3) says that a person who brings peace into his house is considered by G-d as if he brought peace on the entire Jewish people. Imagine if you could have the Heavenly credit for making peace between every Jew who is in an argument with another individual, with a group, or each group with another group! You can have the same Heavenly reward as if you were responsible for bringing peace to each and every quarrel of every kind between any Jew or Jews. How? Bring peace into your home - AND KEEP IT THERE! You will be reckoned by Heaven with the same reward as if your caused peace between every Jew who does not have peace! That's pretty great! The midrash makes it even greater: "Great is peace for all blessings are contained in it [Vayikra Raba]." Peace must be loved, valued, appreciated and actively pursued. IN MARRIAGE, THE FIRST PRIORITY AND RESPONSIBILITY IS MAINTAINING PEACE WITH EACH OTHER AT ALL TIMES.