One of the reasons that Heaven holds back a soulmate is not being ready to treat people the way G-d requires. One insight on this can be discerned from a midrash brought by Rashi to Jeremiah 31:14), which is relevant to seeking one's marriage partner.

G-d revealed to our forefathers that their descendants, the Jewish people, would go into a hard and long exile. Avraham prayed, "I put my son on the altar, willing to sacrifice him if that would have been your will. In the merit of that, please redeem my descendants, the Jewish people, from exile." G-d replied, "No."

Yitzchok prayed, "I WAS the sacrifice on the alter. In the merit of that, please redeem my descendants, the Jewish people, from exile." G-d replied, "No."

Yaakov prayed, "I raised the twelve tribes, the progenitors of the Jewish people, your holy people. In the merit of that, please redeem my descendants, the Jewish people, from exile." G-d replied, "No."

Then Rachel prayed, "I gave my sister Leah the signals that enabled her to marry Yakov, and be saved from the heartbreak of public disgrace at the wedding. I sacrificed my own happiness to give Yakov to my sister. I went beyond any obligation of law. I had rachamim together with chesed. In the merit of that, please redeem the Jewish people." G-d replied, "For you I will redeem the Jewish people from exile."

Now, let's understand who we are talking about. The forefathers were holy people, prophets of G-d. Avraham was a paragon of chesed, but chesed was not enough. Yitzchok represented gevura, self-control for the will of G-d, and that was not enough. Yaakov was the "purehearted man who learned Torah," and that was not enough.

G-d listened to the prayer of Rachel because she was the combination of CHESED TOGETHER WITH RACHAMIM. Rachel was coming from a place of caring and feeling for another person, with active and connected recognition for the other person. That is positive, that is higher, that is spiritual power. Rachel was doing an act with compassion, mercy and pity for another person's feelings, pain, trouble and situation.

She innovated the combining of chesed and rachamim. She took kind action with sensitivity and emotional connection, sharing the anguish. She "tuned in" to the recipient of her chesed, she was fully involved. It was the absence of this that brought exile and it is the practice of this that is the hope for redemption from exile - getting beyond "coasting." We are asking Hashem to give us chesed and rachamim, to "tune in" to our tsoris (troubles) and needs and save us. When she prayed to Hashem for chesed and rachamim, she was the only one who had demonstrated that she practiced chesed together with rachamim, so she was the one who merited to be granted what she asked for: Jewish redemption. This is a call to all Jews to go beyond themselves, to forgive and unify, to practice love and peace, to bestow kindness together with heartfelt compassion, and to influence others to do likewise and to have those "others" influence even more people. If we go beyond ourselves with chesed together with rachamim for others, we can ask Hashem to go beyond Himself (i.e. beyond strict or stern justice or merit) for us with chesed and rachamim, bringing salvation and redemption.

The midrash tells us that when Lavan switched his daughter Leah for his other daughter Rachel (to marry Yakov), Rachel gave her sister Leah the signals by which Yakov would know to go forward with the wedding. Lavan was known to be a swindler. Rachel's reason for giving the signals to her sister was deep compassion (not participation in the deceit). Leah wore a veil over her face at the wedding. Rachel had enormous sensitive feeling for the pain, heartbreak and humiliation that Leah would have suffered in public had Leah's identity been disclosed. Rachel prevented the revealing of Lavan's deceptive scheme to marry Leah to Yakov, even though Yakov was promised to Rachel.

Rachel was sacrificing her own marriage. Rachel was exhibiting the combination of chesed (active kindness) in conjunction with rachamim (compassionate feeling, mercy).

The midrash cited above (brought by Rashi to Yermia 31:14) states that it is in the merit of Rachel's practicing chesed in combination with rachamim for Leah that the redemption of the Jewish people from exile will happen. Note, it is because of the application of deep, human feeling together with Rachel's act of lovingkindness (a mechanical, technical act is not enough for G-d) that redemption will come.

Look at how powerful treating a person with feeling, kindness and extension of self is! It is not enough to refrain from hurting people. It is also not enough to actively chase opportunities to do kind, beneficent and respectful things for people. G-d's standards require developing sensitive feeling for the other person so as to give our inner selves, our heart, our feeling and our humanity within the act of giving.