WHY DO CHAZAL USE THE MIRACLE OF "OPENING OF THE YAM SUF" AS THE ANALOGY FOR FINDING ONE'S MATE?

Chazal say in several gemoras and midrashim that, "It is as difficult to find one's true mate as the miraculous opening of the Reed Sea [Yam Suf]." Our sages understood the limits and nature of analogy, so whenever they made one, it stands up perfectly to analysis from every angle. There are many miracles recorded in the Torah (Sara giving birth at age 90, the 10 plagues, the giving of the Torah with thunder and lightening, eating mon/manna and drinking water from a rock for 40 years, the earth opening under evil Korach and swallowing him alive, etc.). If Chazal wanted to say that finding one's zivug requires miraculous aid from G-d, why was the opening of the sea the analogy they used?

The place on land from which the Jews entered the Sea, when it opened, was "Pi HaChirus," which translates, appropriately enough (since they were escaping the Egyptians), "the beginning of freedom." Pirkei Avos (ch. 6) tells us "There is no one free except he who engages himself in the Torah." One thinks he is free when he can do what he wants, but the gemora (Gitten 13a) says, "A slave likes to be unrestrained." When a person likes to do whatever he wants or to be selfish, he is a slave - to himself! Submission to control, to rules and ethics, is to be truly free, free to do what is right in the eyes of G-d. When the Jews left Pi HaChirus, where were they headed? To Sinai, to receive G-d's Torah. The beginning of freedom was setting off on the path to accepting and submitting completely to G-d's law. The giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai was analogous to a wedding in which G-d was the groom and Knesses Yisroel (the Jewish nation) was the bride (Midrash). It was a marriage, with an exchange of commitment and love, acceptance of roles in relation one to the other, the inauguration of permanent devotion and responsibility between G-d and Israel. This is where the Jewish people were headed to, from Pi HaChirus.

Targum Yonasan tells us that Pi Hachirus was not an ordinary desert. In an ordinary desert, there is nothing but sand on the ground. At Pi HaChirus, the ground was not covered by sand. What covered the ground at Pi HaChirus? Gold, jewels, diamonds, pearls, precious stones. The Jewish people became wealthy. There was plenty for everyone. Not only did G-d, in His kindness, just save them from slavery, He prepared wealth for each and every Jew so that they each could proceed to their new life generously provided for.

Let's go back to our initial point: the analogy of finding one's zivug to the specific miracle of finding one's mate. Finding a mate is like finding a valuable jewel. One is only ready when one is ready to view a mate as "human wealth," a jewel, when one is mature and unselfish enough to view finding a mate as finding someone whom he or she must care for and be responsible with.

If you had a huge and beautiful diamond, the size of a watermelon, worth a vast fortune, you would take superb care of it! You would polish it, hire an armed guard, put it in a vault. There is no question that you would take care and assume responsibility with diligence, with discipline and with drive!

Finding a mate requires being ready to care for, be devoted to and accept responsibility for that mate; the way one would if he found priceless jewels that had to protected and properly treated. Finding a mate requires viewing oneself as headed towards "the Sinai of his/her life;" with the exchange of commitment, inauguration of devotion, acceptance of roles and obligations, submission to daas Torah and unselfishness, giving nonstop love and respect.