Finding the Right Words
Parashas Yisro
"Yisro, the minister of Midian, the father-in-law of Moshe, heard everything that God did to Moshe and Yisrael His people" (Shemos 18:1). And Yisro took Tzipporah and her sons and went to meet Moshe in the desert. Then, "Moshe told his father-in-law everything that Hashem had done" (18:8). The question arises, if Yisro had already heard, why did Moshe have to tell him again? And why only after Yisro speaks to Moshe does he say, "Now I know that Hashem is greater than all the Gods" (18:11)? Then he goes to offer a sacrifice. Why did he wait?
I believe that Yisro acted wisely. Although he had heard of the miracles that were performed for the people, he hadn't heard about them firsthand. Only after he heard everything from Moshe's lips could he believe that he heard the whole truth, and then He could praise God and offer sacrifices.
How often do we hear stories which at their core might be true but have gone through some alteration, exaggeration, addition, subtraction, etc.? We need to verify the facts of any story we hear at its source before we react, even positively. If you hear that someone is expecting a baby and you go to congratulate her, or that someone got engaged, or has a new job, and it turns out you were wrong, it could turn your congratulations into ona'as devarim (words that inflict pain). It goes without saying that we shouldn't believe anything negative.
You shall not bear false witness against your fellow. (Shemos 20:13)
A false witness isn't necessarily someone who lies deliberately. It could just be someone who thinks he knows the story but didn't verify it in enough depth. He passes on his version of the events without finding out the facts firsthand. According to Sforno, this commandment prohibits gossip and slander as well as bearing false witness. The Sages apply it to prohibit testimony even in cases where a witness is convinced that something took place but did not actually witness it himself. For example, if someone's scrupulously honest teachers or friends told him about something, he may not claim to be a witness to it (Shavuos 31a).
If Yisro could travel such a long way to speak to Moshe and verify the facts before he did something positive like praise Hashem, we too can at least pick up the phone and check that what we heard in fact happened the way we heard it. Then we won't spread lashon hara, which, for the most part, is also bearing false witness.