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WHAT IF DURING THE SEVEN CLEAN DAYS ONE FORGETS TO MAKE A BEDIKA ON ANY OF THE SEVEN DAYS?

As discussed previously, during the seven clean days one should examine oneself twice a day: once in the morning and once in the afternoon close to sunset. However, as long as the woman makes at least one thorough exam on the first day and one thorough exam on the seventh day, the rest of the days are valid. Rav Moshe Feinstein rules that if a woman sees a stain on her underwear during the seven clean days, she may skip that day’s bedikas. If she missed making at least one exam on either the first or seventh day, she must consult a rav: it is possible that she may have to recount the seven days in such a case.

However, please note that if a woman sees a stain on either the first or seventh day, she should still consult a rav before making a bedika as he could instruct her how to best make the bedika, when to do so, etc.

WHAT IF A WOMAN DOES A BEDIKA AND THE CLOTH GETS FLUSHED AWAY OR LOST BEFORE SHE CAN LOOK AT?

In such a case it is not considered to be a problem and she would make another bedika and utilize that one. If however she glanced at the cloth and saw a questionable color and then somehow the cloth got lost or thrown away before she could show it to a Rav, she must consult a rav to determine her status.

WHAT ABOUT STAINS FOUND DURING THE SEVEN CLEAN DAYS ON THE WHITE UNDERGARMENTS?

As mentioned before, concerning stains on white underwear, if it is less than the size of a penny it is no problem. If there are several small stains that are separate, that is also okay as long as each stain does not amount to more than a penny (it does not matter if collectively they do add up to more than a penny: stains on a garment need not be added together, as mentioned previously).

A stain larger than a penny must be shown to a rav. However, please note: often a woman may see a light brown stain which is larger than a penny and inside that or on the edges of the light brown she will notice a darker brown or a reddish color. In that case, she must estimate that if she would add together all the darker , reddish parts, would that equal to more than a penny or not? In other words, the pale brown parts of the stain are usually not to be worried about: it is the reddish or darker parts that are the problem. However, there are different opinions concerning stains, so a Rav can be consulted (even by phone) about such matters.

If the entire stain looks a dark brown or even a pale pink color then of course she must see how large the whole stain is. But if the reddish or pink parts do not add up to more than a penny, then she is clean. If she thinks it would add up ( meaning the total area) to more than a penny, then she must show the garment to a rav. She should not automatically assume it is not kosher. Also, if the woman lines her underwear with panty liners during the seven clean days, then a stain a little bit larger than a penny would also be acceptable: the law for panty liners is somewhat different than the law for underwear. In that case, a stain which is smaller than the size of three quarters would be acceptable. If it is larger than that, a rav must be consulted. If one is unable to obtain panty liners, toilet paper or any disposable paper product is okay.

Also, it may happen that a woman would stain more than once during the seven days and she would see a new stain falling on top of an old stain and it could become difficult to ascertain how large the stains really are and what color they are etc.etc.

The best thing to do in such a case of frequent staining (since it is difficult and not always possible to keep changing underwear) is to line the underwear with white toilet paper (or panty liners) and keep changing the paper as needed and if there are any stains which would be questionable, those pieces of toilet paper (or those panty liners) should be saved and shown to a Rav. Obviously if there is a considerable amount of staining, more than a few stains a day, then a rav would have to be consulted to determine the woman’s status.

It is a good idea to call a rav when a stain is found on underwear because he will often be able to answer by phone, thus saving the woman or her husband a trip to show him the garment.

Please note that on any of the seven clean days , any questionable stain on a bedika cloth from an internal examination must always be shown to a rav and any actual red blood on a bedika cloth would render the woman nida, even a small drop. If she thinks that she may have to start counting her seven days again, she could make a bedika that same day towards sunset . However, if she feels doing a bedika at that time may mess up her count, she could call a Rav for his advice as to how to proceed. Because if a woman sees that she is staining during the seven days, as we mentioned before, she is permitted to skip that day’s bedikas (unless it is the first or seventh day). So if a woman sees some brownish staining or even reddish staining on her underwear on one of the seven clean days, she should not run to do a bedika. Because if she does a bedika and finds a red color, she would automatically be nida. I f she does not do a bedika and the staining is minimal, she would not be nida.

Inserting internally a cloth to actually check oneself is much stricter by Jewish law and therefore any blood found internally is a problem, so it is permissible to avoid looking internally under certain circumstances since we are not obligated to look for problems.

If a woman finds a stain on her underwear on the last of her seven clean days, she should consult a rav as to when or how often to do bedikas that day (often he will tell her only to check once) so as to minimize her risk of becoming nida again.

The woman may check herself in the morning and be clean and then notice some staining later on in the day, in which case it may be advisable for her not to re-check that day but to consider the one bedika as sufficient for that day and she would retain her status of kosher as long as she does not have an actual flow of blood . These are the things a rav could advise the woman about. But if she is unable to contact a Rav on time, she should do her one mandatory bedika of the seventh day and then she does not have to check herself again if the first bedika was good.

If at any point in time a stain found on a bedika cloth or on her underwear does render a woman nida again, then she must start anew to count the seven days. She does not have to wait five days again before beginning to count the seven days. She can immediately make a new hefsik tahara and then begin to count from the next morning.

WHAT IF A WOMAN FINDS A STAIN ON A BEDIKA DURING AN EXAM OF HER SEVEN CLEAN DAYS AND SHE IS NOT SURE IF IT IS OKAY AND SHE CANNOT GET TO A RAV RIGHT AWAY BEFORE SUNDOWN?

In this case the woman should put aside the bedika cloth to show the rav and she should make a new bedika, as if making a new hefsik tahara . If that one is okay, then that would be her new hefsik if the rav declares the first bedika cloth impure. But if she checks again and finds another stain, she should try another time and hopefully it will come out okay. If each time she checks she still finds a stain, then she should simply wait until the next day rather than frustrate herself too much.

However, each time she checks herself she must keep the bedika cloths (putting each one in a separate envelope and marking on the envelope if it is the first cloth, second cloth etc. and the day of the week) and show all of them to a rav. It is best to allow the cloths to dry before putting them inside the envelope. She can either put them in flat or fold the cloth . Some women have the custom to write on the bedika cloth itself which day it is from, not to risk having the rav mix up the cloths. It happened once that a woman I knew gave three shaylas to a rav and one of those shaylas she was sure was clean. He called her and told her that that shayla was not good, so she asked him if he is sure he did not mix up the cloths. His answer was that he was not sure and it is possible he mixed things up. After she questioned him, she understood he had indeed mixed up the cloths and luckily she knew which cloth was which and she was able to determine what was actually a problem and what was not. But for that reason some women prefer to write on the cloth itself from which exam it is, to avoid any confusion later.

After giving all cloths to the rav , he may say to her that the original exam was no good but the next exam might be okay or perhaps the one after that was good.

If none of them are good, then she waits until the next afternoon to start again. If she cannot contact a rav for a few days then she simply continues examining herself twice each day and collects all the questionable cloths to show the rav at one time. Once she speaks to the rav she will straighten out exactly which day her tevilah will take place.

If she happens to see staining on one of the days when she is supposed to continue making bedikas because she could not get to the rav yet to determine her status, she should call a rav before examing her self that day to find out how to proceed: he may tell her not to check that day and to wait until he sees if her shayla is kosher or not. Or he may tell her she must check herself that day but she should wait a few hours before doing so etc.

If she finds a stain the last day of the seven clean days, she should do her utmost to get to a rav that very day, even if it is close to evening. However, if she is for some reason unable to get to a rav, she must postpone her tevila until the next day when she can show the shaylas to a rav. But never assume a shayla is unclean: always ask!

DOES A PAP SMEAR OR AN INTERNAL EXAM BY A DOCTOR RENDER HER NIDA?

A pap smear and a regular internal exam generally do not render a woman nida as long as the cervix is not actually penetrated . If she has bleeding or staining after such an exam, a rav should be consulted.

In fact, if on the doctor’s glove or instrument blood is seen, the woman should ask the doctor immediately what is the reason and source of that blood so that she knows what to tell the rav when she calls him. However, it is advisable for a woman to have a pap smear or have an internal done when she is already nida (ie. just before making her hefsik tahara exam is the best time). Also a woman should mention to the doctor before he does the pap smear that he should be careful not to penetrate the cervix.

Please note: it is NOT necessary or advisable to make a bedika after an internal exam. Nor is it necessary to inspect the doctor’s gloves after an internal exam. Only if the doctor himself mentions he sees blood is it necessary to look and get all information: Ie. is he sure it is from the cervix? etc.

Bleeding due to a pap smear does not generally render a woman nida nor does it disturb the counting of her seven clean days since the blood is from the outer cervix and not the uterus itself. However, if a woman finds blood a day or two after having a pap smear, she should consult a rav. It is nevertheless advisable to do any internal exams when a woman is nida and before she begins to count her seven days.

During pregnancy a woman should also be careful, particularly in the last month, that the doctor’s internal exams do not render her nida. There are many women who refuse to have any internals done during pregnancy at all, unless there is a definite medical reason to warrant one.

WHAT IF A WOMAN TRAVELS DURING THE COUNTING OF HER SEVEN CLEAN DAYS AND SHE GOES OVER THE INTERNATIONAL DATELINE?

If a woman travels, this does not in any way disrupt or disturb the counting o f her seven clean days. But in this case we count the seven days according to sunset of the place we are traveling to, so one day could be even a few hours depending upon arrival time.

For example , if a woman begins to count her seven clean days on a Thursday morning, (meaning her hefsik tahara exam was on a Wednesday afternoon) and her tevila is scheduled for Wednesday night, if she arrives in Hong Kong on Monday afternoon (which would really be Sunday, middle of the night, Canada time) she still considers Monday afternoon as one o f the seven clean days and she continues counting from then, which means her tevila would still come out to be Wednesday night Hong Kong time (making it actually Wednesday early morning) in Canada! But that is fine: her tevila would still be kosher. She is just gaining some time due to her travels. But that is only if she did have seven days where there was sunset and sunrise. If for some reason there was only sunshine all the way and the sun never went down at all, she cannot consider the days she arrives in her destination as the next day but it would be considered the same as the day of her departure and therefore would have to wait until the following day to be considered a new day.

Going the other way would also be a similar situation except that she loses time: in other words, if the woman makes a hefsik tahara on Wednesday afternoon in Hong Kong , making her tevila to be Wednesday night (Hong Kong time) the next week, then if she leaves Hong Kong for example on Thursday morning arriving back in Canada on Thursday (also in the morning, due to the time change) she continues counting as if that is her first day even though in reality by Hong Kong time it is already Thursday night. That would mean her tevila would come out to be Wednesday night Canadian time but in reality that would be already early Thursday morning Hong Kong time , thus causing her to lose 12 hours(in other words to go to mikvah later than she normally would have done). However, that is also fine: that is the halacha. So traveling may seem complicated but in reality it is no problem. The woman goes according to the shekia (sundown) of the place she is in at the time.

WHAT IS TEVILAH AND WHEN SHOULD IT BE DONE ETC.?

Tevilah means immersion. It refers to immersion in the waters of a mikvah. Tevilah takes place in the night time after counting her seven clean days. On the seventh day, after it becomes dark, she is able to tovel.

It is very important not to postpone or put off the time of one’s tevila . Certainly a woman must never postpone going to the mikvah in order to cause her husband to suffer or to get revenge against him if she is angry at him for some reason, or in order to prevent becoming pregnant. However, it is important for the couple to be happy and not upset with each other on the night the wife tovels and therefore it is incumbent upon both husband and wife to fix up and resolve any quarrels or angry feelings they may have before tevila.

If a woman’s husband is not in town, it is customary not to tovel until he returns.

However, it is permissible to go to mikvah before he comes back (even several days in advance) as long as she then sleeps with some garment of her husband’s under her pillow the night that she immerses (for Kabbalistic reasons). But Friday night she generally should not tovel if her husband is not in town.

It is possible, for example, that the husband may be scheduled to return just before yom tov or Shabbat (or perhaps the wife is not sure exactly which night her husband will return and she wants to be in a state of purity when he arrives back) and it would not be convenient or possible for the wife to tovel that same night, so she may tovel before as long as she has finished counting her seven clean days .

If a husband is out of town for an extended period of time (pehaps a month or more) and the wife counts her seven clean days and then puts on colored underwear waiting for a time closer to her husband’s return to tovel, and in between she has some slight staining, she does not have to count anew seven days: she retains her purity and is able to tovel at the appropriate time as long as she does not actually have a flow of blood that would render her nida.

WHAT PREPARATIONS ARE INVOLVED BEFORE TEVILAH?

There are several preparations a woman must make before she can tovel in the mikvah.

As mentioned before, purity of the mikvah is not a matter of physical cleanliness, nevertheless physical and spiritual do work together. If a woman takes 100 showers she is still not spiritually pure until she immerses in a kosher mikvah. But in order for one to be in the proper frame of mind to be cleansed o f spiritual impurity, one must also be physically clean and free from anything that could mar her joy .

The woman must first bathe for about half an hour. Then she must shower and shampoo her hair. She must cut the nails of her fingers and toes. She must brush her teeth well, clean her eyes, ears, navel and check her whole body to be sure there is no dirt or stains or dried up scabs or foreign entities clinging to her body. Then she is ready to go in the mikvah.

Some women like to shave their genital hair and cut the hair on their heads before going to mikvah: any hair cutting should be done a few days in advance of the tevila so that little hairs would not stick to the body and become a chatzitza.

We mentioned previously that a chatzitza is something which does not allow the waters of the mikvah to reach all parts of the body completely. Something which bothers the woman is generally a chatzitza . The following things are accepted as being chatzitzas for most women and are removed to the best of one’s ability:

Jewellery, rings, earrings, makeup etc. must be removed before tevilah . When earrings are taken off, the holes in the ears should be cleaned as well. If makeup does not come off perfectly, it is not a problem though. Nails must be cut and cleaned to remove any dirt underneath. If a woman strongly objects to cutting her nails, she must clean them very carefully from under and around the edges to be sure there is no dirt . Hang nails or peeling skin should be removed. Skin which is peeling a lot (ie. from a sunburn) one should try to remove (but first wet the body and then remove as much as possible easily) but it is not necessary to remove a lot of peeling skin if it does not bother the woman and especially if it is in an area such as the back where it is difficult to get to or to be seen.

Scabs should be softened in water. If the skin underneath has healed completely then the scab should be removed. However, if a scab will bleed by being removed it need only be softened and cleaned. Sometimes one has very tiny scabs which one can hardly even see: if these are things that do not bother the woman normally, she need not be very concerned about them. She has to simply wash them to be sure no dried blood or mucous is attached to them. If they come off easily she can remove them. But if she misses a scab (for example, she may go to the mikvah and after tevila or after marital relations, she may see a scab which she did not notice before her tevila) she does not have to tovel again because of that.

Stains which are flat, such as ink ,one must remove to the best of one’s ability. But if they do not come off fully, the remaining stain after scrubbing is not considered a chatzitza. Stains which are thicker, such as milk or honey or paint (that have a substance to them), one must remove. If a stain does not come off, consult a rav. A woman in the profession of making carrot juice, for example, need not worry about the carrot stains since they are normal for her and do not bother her.

Also stains from other vegetables are not a chatzitza generally if a woman does her best to remove them but they leave some coloring (ie. from beets). As long as she scrubs well and tries all that she can to remove the stains, any residue of color is not a problem generally.

A woman who kneads dough for bread must take care that the particles are removed from her fingers and nails.

The naval must be cleaned well.

The ears must be cleaned of wax.

Mucous outside the eyes or hardened in the corners of the eyes must be removed as well.

Pus outside a wound (but not inside), or dried up blood, are chatzitzas.

The nose must be cleaned.

Teeth must be brushed well and dirt in between removed. It is preferable not to use dental floss if the teeth are close together since dental floss could tear and get stuck in between the teeth and that would create a shayla. (If somehow a piece of dental floss did get stuck in the teeth and does not come out, if you buy tape dental floss and use that it usually does not get stuck and it will remove the piece which is stuck ).

If a woman does not floss and she is unsure if she has any dirt in between any of her teeth, as long as she does not feel any food in between and nothing bothers her, then she may tovel. It is customary on the day of tevilah not to eat foods such as meat, chicken (or even foods like corn) that get stuck in the teeth.

A temporary cap which is not cemented down is not a chatzitza unless it falls off easily.

Hair must be washed and combed out completely. Lice and nits are generally a chatzitza (particularly if there are a lot of them) but in some locations where lice are very common (such as Israel or France) they may not be considered a chatzitza, however the lice should be removed as much as possible with a special lice comb and a shampoo to kill live lice should be utilized if possible.It is a good idea to have the mikvah lady or another woman check her hair before tevila, if at all possible . A rav should be consulted how to proceed if in doubt.

Hair all over the body must be combed and must not be tangled at all. Skin must be washed well. Sometimes a little dirt or stickiness remains (ie. From a bandaid or bandage that was on the skin) and that must be washed off well.

One must prepare the entire body to be free of dirt or anything which might prevent the mikvah waters from reaching every part of the body. The woman must examine in a mirror all parts of her body as well as she can just prior to the immersion.

A woman or girl over the age of 12 years must watch when the woman immerses in the mikvah to be sure all the hair is submerged and no hair floats above the surface and no limb protrudes from the water so that the immersion will be valid. Any hair or limb sticking out of the water at the time the woman immerses would make the tevila invalid.

WHAT IF ONE’S IMMERSION NIGHT IS ON FRIDAY ( ON SHABBAT)?

If one’ s immersion turns out to be on Shabbos or Yom Tov, one can use the mikvah if one is within walking distance.

If a woman lives far from the mikvah, Rav Moshe Feinstein ruled that there is a way to go earlier during that day, on Friday (as told to me by Rav Gershon Bess, in Los Angeles). A rav must be consulted in such a situation to find out the correct procedure.

Otherwise tevilah is postponed until the next night (in which case, one can put on colored underwear and one need not examine oneself internally any further since the seven clean days are already completed ). All preparations for tevilah on Friday night must be made before Shabbos starts. After lighting the candles one cannot do further combing of hair, nail cutting, etc.

One can visually recheck the body before tevilah on Shabbos but many people have a custom not to do so because if a chatzitza is seen, one cannot remove it on Shabbos depending upon what type of chatzitza it is. Usually people check their bodies to be sure no hairs or other dirt is sticking to any part of the body. One should run one’s fingers through the hair to be sure it is not tangled. (Of course we do check thoroughly the entire body before Shabbos begins).

If one’s tevilah is to be the second night of Yom Tov, many women wait until after yom tov to tovel. But it is permissible to tovel the second night as long as one is careful during the entire yom tov not to get dirty (ie. It may be advisable to wear thick socks all the time and perhaps to even use plastic gloves when cooking or preparing food) . Teeth may be brushed on yom tov but without toothpaste. If her gums will bleed she should preferably not brush and simply clean her teeth with a toothpick or by hand. Hair should be combed out with the fingers to be sure they are not tangled together. If there is any particular dirt such as mud or dirt from food, the woman may wash this dirt off in cold water, with liquid soap if available. She should not take a whole shower but she can wash by hand any dirt she sees.

The woman who supervises the tevilah should announce "kosher" each time the woman goes under the water. Women differ in the number of times they immerse. Some tovel three times, some seven times and some more. The minimum is generally three times.

The woman goes under the water one time, then says the blessing and immerses herself again as many times as is customary for her.

To immerse herself, the woman goes completely under the water one time. Her eyes should be lightly closed and her mouth lightly closed as well. Fingers should be slightly spread apart. Upon emerging above water from the first immersion, the woman then recites the blessing which is: "Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam Asher kidishanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al hatevilah." Usually the mikvah attendant will give her a small washcloth to put on top of her head while she recites the blessing. Many women cross their arms over their chests while they say the blessing, so as to be more modest.

If the feet are touching the floor of the mikvah or a limb touches the side of the mikvah while the woman is immersing, the tevila is still kosher. However no hair may protrude above the water at the time of immersion.

After tevilah in the mikvah, when she emerges from the water, the woman who watches her immersion to be sure it is kosher should then wrap a towel around her or touch her hand since her first contact after leaving the mikvah should be with a Jew.

This has special spiritual significance and in fact if one leaves the mikvah and touches an animal first or a non Jew, many women have the custom to go back and tovel again since this spiritually affects one’s thoughts during relations and hence affects the children born from that union. It is customary not to shower or wash off the water after tevila while still in the mikvah building . At home many rabbonim allow the woman to shower before marital relations as long as one part of the body is not put under the water . After marital relations the woman may shower as she wishes to.

WHAT IF A CHATZITZA IS FOUND AFTER TEVILAH?

If it is discovered while still in the mikvah building, she should immerse again.

If it is discovered after she returns home, then a rav must be consulted. But it depends if it is a true chatzitza and she is positive it was there before tevila. If she is not sure the chatzitza was definitely there before the immersion, she generally does not have to immerse again. It also depends upon what the chatzitza is and whether it is something that bothers the woman (or that bothers most women). It also may depend upon what part of the body the chatzitza is on. For example, contact lenses must be removed before tevila but if a woman toveled and then went home and realized she did not remove the lenses, it is possible to be lenient because it is in the eyes and it is not stuck to the eyeball, but is simply sitting on the eyeball and the eyes are closed, so the rabbonim have said one can be lenient in such a case. But in all such matters a Rav should be consulted. If the chatzitza is discovered after marital relations, generally the rav will not ask her to immerse again, but a rav must be consulted depending upon what the chatzitza is. If for example a woman immersed and then discovered one nail which was not cut, she must consult a rav because one nail which is uncut when all the others were cut could be a problem.

WHAT IF ONE’S TEVILA IS DONE IN AN OCEAN?

It may happen at certain times that one is unable to tovel in a regular mikveh building (perhaps she is traveling and there is no mikveh, or she is by a beach and it is too far from a town which has a mikveh etc.). In such cases a woman may tovel in the ocean.

An ocean is a natural mikveh at all times. (Please NOTE; not all bodies of natural water are mikvahs and therefore before toveling in a lake or a river one should ask a rabbi to be sure that that particular body of water is kosher as a mikvah, but an ocean is always a kosher mikvah). However, to tovel in an ocean one must take care about various matters: First of all, the woman must be sure to go to a secluded area where she will not be seen by other people.

Secondly, she must bring along a flashlight or some sort of light so that whoever accompanies her can watch to be sure her entire body is under the water at the same time and no hair floats above the surface of the water. She must be careful not to dirty the bottom of her feet (or between her toes etc.) with mud or sand. She can wear plastic slippers to walk into the water and then give them to the attendant with her, she must then clean off her feet and between her toes and then it is best to jump up and to tovel without putting her feet on the ground until she finishes all her immersions.

However, if she has to, she can stand upon the plastic slippers in order to keep her feet clean while toveling (although it is difficult to be sure the slippers will stay in place and not float away!).

She must also be careful not to close her eyes or mouth too tightly (out of fear of the salt water). If water enters her mouth, she must be sure no sand clings to her teeth. But in general once she is in the water nothing should really cling to her. An ocean is a perfectly kosher mikvah and actually has been used by many women throughout the ages when no other mikvah facility was available.

DATES TO OBSERVE:

There are certain dates of each month when husband and wife separate from physical relations because of the possibility that the woman may become nida then.

It is important for the couple to keep a calendar noting when the period begins exactly each month. The calendar goes only according to the Hebrew dates and months!

Being together when the woman is nida is so detrimental spiritually that couples take extra precautions to avoid any chance of that by observing certain dates each month as a time of separation from marital relations because on those days the woman might get her period.

Regarding a woman having a regular period: this means that for three months in a row her period started on either the same day of the Hebrew month (but that would include the same part of the day, either day or night of that date) or the same interval (ie. every 28 days exactly) or her cycle increases or decreases three times by the same number of days each month (ie. if she got her period on the 26 of Elul, then the next month on the 27 of Tishrei and the next month on the 28 of Cheshvan then she can expect her next period on the 29 of Kislev.

In all cases of a regular cycle, bleeding must commence in the same part of t he day (ie. always at night or always in the daytime).

It is not very common to truly have a regular period and most women are considered irregular even though they may have their period on the same date (for example)for a couple of months in a row, but to actually have this occur three times in a row is not so common.

A woman who does have a regular period must only separate from her husband on that particular day that she is expecting her period (either during the day or night time, depending upon when it started the previous three times). She does not have to observe any other dates. But it is necessary to make a bedika at least once during that period of time (twice is preferable) when she is expecting her period, and if she somehow forgot to make such a bedika, she is not allowed to be with her husband until she does make a bedika to show that she is still clean (even a couple of days later). A regular period would only be canceled if another three months go by and her period no longer occurs on that date (or in that same way) for three months in a row.

Some women establish a regular cycle based upon bodily symptoms so if a woman experiences a certain bodily symptom which is always associated with the start of her menstrual cycle and this happens three times in a row, she may be able to establish her cycle as being regular based upon that, but a Rav should be consulted.

If a woman notices, for example, that for three months in a row every single time her period starts it is accompanied by a certain physical symptom (such as sneezing spells, temperature change, uterine cramps or a heavy feeling etc.) then a rav must be consulted as it may become a little more complex to determine the days she must separate from her husband.

Please note: if a woman has a regular period that started, for example, three times in a row on the 6th of the Hebrew month but then the next time it started instead on the 7th of the Hebrew month, since she did not yet cancel the first date of the 6th (because three consecutive times did not go by without seeing blood on that date) , she must still observe the 6th of the next month as her possible date but she also observes the 7th. However she does not have to observe any other dates or intervals etc.

For a woman who does not have a regular period the law is different. She must keep a few dates each month where she may expect the commencement of her period.

The first date is the thirtieth day from the first day that her period starts. We count by including the first day of the actual start of her period. If her period was preceded by slight staining (ie. she saw a stain of blood on her underwear a day or two before her period began) we do not consider that the first day: the first day would be the day that she actually had a flow of blood for the purpose of calculating her calendar dates. However, please note: if a woman has slight staining (even smaller than an amount that would actually render her nida) but she still separates from physical relations from her husband because her period is imminent and she is afraid it may start at any time (please note: if one is not sure whether or not she should separate from her husband if she has very slight staining preceding her period, she should speak with a Rav), and yet her period starts two days later, she may count the two days before as part of the five day waiting time before beginning to count her seven clean days. In other words, she need not count five more days from the start of her period if she already separated from her husband for two days before her period began. If, for example, she saw a stain on the 12th of the month, but her actual flow began on the 14th and lasted only two days, she could count her five day waiting period from the 12th and try to make a hefsek tahara on the 16th.

But for the purpose of calculating the 30th day, she would count from the 14th, not the 12th. And on the 30th day after that, husband and wife must abstain from relations for 24 hours (please note: sephardim usually abstain for only twelve hours, during either the day or night, depending upon which part of the day the period began in).

If the period started , for example, at night then the couple would generally separate the night before, which begins the 30th day, all the way through the following day until nightfall.

As mentioned above, many Sephardim separate only for a 12 hour period: either the day or night in which the period started, just like for the other dates which are observed as days of separation.

During the portion of the day that the period began the month before (ie. during the day or night) the woman must examine herself to be sure there is no bleeding or staining . She should examine herself preferably twice but if she only checked once it is okay . Sometimes the period begins slightly and is only noticeable with an internal exam. If she somehow forgot to make a bedika, she must examine herself anytime as soon as possible thereafter (even the next day or night or even a couple of days later) before resuming marital relations with her husband.

For example, if her period started at night the month before and on the thirtieth day she must separate from the nighttime and then go through the daytime of the 30th as well, yet she forgot to make an exam during the entire day of the 30th, then she must make the exam the next night of the 31st or the next day of the 31st before resuming relations. She may bath and swim on the day she separates from her husband, according to the opinion of the Chazon Ish.

Some Rabbinical authorities also advise the couple to abstain from relations the 31st day as well but that is not a must and depends upon one’s custom. Most people do not keep this extra strictness.

The next date to observe is the time between periods (the interval date). The woman notes when her period started and also when the next month’s period starts. She counts the days including the first day that her period began as well as the day the next month’s period began and that becomes the interval date.

On that number of days the following month she would separate from her husband either in the night or daytime, depending upon whether her period started at night or during the day. So it is a 12 hour separation really. Again she must check herself at least once during the day or night, depending upon when her period started the month before. The cloth need not be saved to look at in daylight unless the woman sees a questionable color. But if she forgot to make an exam altogether, she does not have to do so later.

As an example of the interval date, if her period began on Tishrei 3 and the next month on cheshvan 5, then she would count the days including Tishrei 3 and Cheshvan 5 (ie. 32 days) and the following month she would count 32 days from Cheshvan 5 (which might be Kislev 7, for example) and she would observe that as her interval date. And if the time went by and she forgot somehow to check herself, as long as she did not experience any bleeding, she need not examine herself again before resuming relations with her husband.

The third date to observe is the date of the month when her period began. For example, if she got her period on Cheshvan 10, then the next month, on Kislev 10, the couple would also abstain from relations for 12 hours, again either by day or night depending upon whether the period started in the daytime or at night.

The woman should examine herself at least once during that 12 hour period (ie. Kislev 10 in the daytime, not at night since her period started in the morning, she would make an internal exam, a bedika), but if she forgot or the time passed by without making the bedika, then she is not obligated to make an internal exam before resuming relations as long as she did not feel her period start.

For the interval date and the date of the month, there is an opinion of the Ohr Zarua that in addition to that 12 hour period of abstinence, the couple should also abstain for 12 hours PRIOR to that. Some ashkenazim or Chassidic communities observe this custom. Sephardim generally do not keep this custom. They keep only the 12 hour time period.

If a woman is not aware when her period began and she discovered it at night but she is not sure whether or not it started in the daytime (before dark) she should assume that it arrived at the time she discovered it and should consider it to have commenced at night.

If a woman is aware when her period began but is not sure if the time was exactly before or after sunset, she also would consider it to have started at the later time.

If a woman became nida through staining rather than through having a real flow or her period, then she does not have to observe a 30th day or the date of the next month . We only observe the calendar dates for a real flow of blood.

ABOUT BRIDES....

Before marriage a woman should try to keep a record of her periods for a few months so she can determine when she will be clean for her wedding. She must count 7 clean days before her wedding and immerse in the mikvah as well. But a virgin bride should be careful when doing bedikas not to injure herself.

For a bride, tevilah in the mikvah can be done during the daytime on the 8th day or any time thereafter. It is an exception to the rule that tevila can be done in the daytime and is a special law for brides. If a woman is nida at the time of her actual chupa (the actual wedding day) then she must consult a Rav as to how to conduct herself during the wedding ceremony and thereafter. The couple is forbidden to be alone together until they the night that they are able to have their first intercourse.

A virgin becomes nida after the first intercourse but she only waits four days and then counts her seven clean days after that first bridal night because bleeding of the hymen is somewhat different than bleeding due to the period.

It is normal to have bleeding from the hymen for the first few times having intercourse. The couple should check the sheets to see if there is any blood on them.

The woman,however, becomes nida each time and must count 7 clean days. Bleeding from the hymen any time after the first night of intercourse (the wedding night), must be considered as regular bleeding and the woman must wait five days (except for sephardim) after that before beginning to count the seven days. If she gets her regular period in between she should be aware that it may take some time before going to the mikvah the first month or so, but all of that is normal for a new bride.

If there was only partial penetration and no blood came out after the first intercourse, the woman is not nida (but a Rav should be consulted) and they may keep trying. If however the groom penetrated completely even if no blood is seen, the woman is still considered nida. Once a bride has marital relations without any pain or bleeding, then if she experiences bleeding immediately after intercourse she should consult a Rav.

PREGNANT AND NURSING WOMEN:

A woman who is pregnant (after the first three months go by) or a nursing mother, need not worry about anticipating their periods. But a pregnant woman or nursing woman who does get her period or has an actual flow of blood must consider herself nida, wait the usual five days and count seven clean days and go to mikvah as usual.

From the time that a woman goes into active labor she becomes nida and therefore her husband should not massage her back or touch her during real labor. However, if her membranes rupture before labor starts, a rav should be consulted as to her status.

After giving birth to a baby boy a woman is nida for 7 days according to Torah law. After giving birth to a baby girl she is nida for 14 days . Nowadays however most women are nida for five to eight weeks after giving birth, sometimes even longer. After all bleeding stops she must count seven clean days and go to mikvah before resuming marital relations. However if staining continues for too long after childbirth, one should consult a doctor and also consult the rav as he may have advice how to check oneself so as to enable one to become clean and count the seven days properly.

It is helpful after giving birth to be as relaxed as possible, as this aids in healing and proper hormonal balancing. Much staining is often due to hormonal changes which are aggravated by stress or worry or sometimes even plane travel. It is advisable not to do much exercise or run up and down stairs too much as that can delay healing from the placental site inside the uterus. It is also good not to do heavy work for about a month: ie. that includes a lot of vacuuming and so on. This may not always be possible, practically speaking, but the less heavy work one does, the quicker the uterus heals, particularly after having several children. It is not pleasant to see the house fall apart, but that is to be expected for a month or so after childbirth and husbands are asked to have consideration and understanding, particularly since this will help their wives to become pure faster and go to mikvah sooner, which certainly contributes to shalom bayit.

After, God forbid, a miscarriage a woman is nida as if she gave birth to a daughter (for at least 14 days, or until all bleeding stops). However, that is only if the fetus is more than 40 days old. If it is less than that (ie. the pregnancy was only a few weeks) then she does not have to wait 14 days, only the usual five days (or longer, depending upon when all bleeding stops) before counting her seven clean days. However, generally it takes several weeks for all bleeding and staining to stop after a miscarriage of even a few weeks old fetus.

It is, in fact, very normal to have staining for quite some time after a miscarriage so do not panic about that. Sometimes one goes to the mikveh and when the next period starts, debris from the miscarriage which did not come out the first time will be evacuated and can cause the period to be heavier or longer than usual. It sometimes happens that a woman begins counting her seven days and even on the fifth day or later she may suddenly experience staining or bleeding which would again render her nida, causing her to start counting her seven days over again.

This in itself can be frustrating and difficult, but it helps to keep in mind that extended staining and even some bleeding is normal after a miscarriage or after childbirth, particularly if a woman has had several pregnancies or children prior to that. However, if staining continues constantly for more than two months, a doctor should definitely be consulted. If a woman has heavy bleeding for an extended period of time after a miscarriage, she should also see a doctor as this may indicate retained fragments from the pregnancy or may indicate hormonal imbalancement etc.

If the fetus was more than 40 days old at the time of t he miscarriage, it is often necessary to do a D & C to remove all debris and to be sure bleeding stops properly.

A WOMAN AFTER MENOPAUSE:

After complete menopause, a woman must still count seven clean days and immerse in the mikvah one last time to remove her status of nida. Even if a woman never kept the laws of mikvah, she can still tovel after menopause and it is a great mitzva to do so. Her relationship with her husband will then be pure and filled with holiness.

And naturally if after menopause she still experiences at some point in time bleeding from the uterus, she must again count seven clean days and immerse herself.

It is true that at times keeping the laws of family purity may be challenging and even frustrating. Nevertheless the spiritual rewards are great and certainly the purity of the relationship between husband and wife brings its own benefits in terms of peace at home and a constant renewal of the marriage.

It brings spiritual, physical and psychological health as well for the husband, wife and their children. It elevates the marital relationship to a holy level: a level of sanctity which is apart from animalistic desires or simply pursuing lustful drives.

It brings about a feeling of purity and kedusha, which makes a couple feel very connected to G-d and to spirituality.

It is the key to happiness in marriage and to producing good, pure children. It is a tradition and commandment from God which is entrusted to the Jewish women to uphold faithfully; a unique blessing given to the Jewish family. This is the foundation of the Jewish home, the key to survival of the Jewish nation. This is the secret to the success of the Jewish family throughout history.

If for some reason you are not living in an area where you are blessed to have a Rav nearby, or you do not know of a rabbi who is really an expert in these laws of nida or in answering such shaylas, you may contact Rav Gershon Bess in Los Angeles, California. He is an expert in these laws and you can always consult him by phone and send shaylas via mail. Rav Bess phone number is: 1-323-935-8572 and he is generally there between 9:00 to 9:45 every morning (Los Angeles time) and also between 5:00 to 5:30 pm he can generally be reached at 323-933-5031. His fax number is 323-933-8838 and his e-mail address is rgbess@aol.com send shaylas via mail.