Setting
Limits:
Introduction: There is an
ancient Jewish tradition to give 10-20 percent of one's income to tzedakah;
moreover, there are special cases or emergencies when one gives more than the
usual percentage. With the exception of these cases, our sages say that a person
should not give more than 20 percent of his income to tzedekah, lest he
impoverish himself and thereby become dependent on other people for his support.
The Chofetz Chaim, in his book "Loving Kindness," mentions that this limitation
does not apply to an extremely wealthy person, and he lists other exceptions, as
well. (If you have questions regarding your own tzedakah giving, please consult
with a rabbi.)
Dear
Friends,
According to Jewish
tradition, we are to give tzedakah not only with love and sensitivity, but also
with wisdom and common sense. We should therefore give thought to the particular
needs of the recepient, and to figure out the best and most sensitive way to
meet these needs. For example, if you are providing food for a needy individual,
it would be wise to find out if this individual has any dietary restrictions.
There may also be occasions
when our wisdom and common sense will tell us not to give someone too much
tzedekah, and Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Feuer discusses this issue in his book, "The
Tzedakah Treasury" (ArtScroll). He once requested from Rabbi Dovid Feinstein, a
noted authority on "halacha" (Torah law), to give him some advice on how to
develop a proper approach to the distribution of tzedakah. Instead of citing a
particular halacha, Rabbi Feinstein responded with the following story:
There was a wealthy Jewish
man who was known for his generosity in giving tzedakah, and he was once
approached in an aggressive manner by a Jewish man in need. The philanthropist
was moved by the needy man's story and gave a very large gift, far more than he
usually gave. The needy man, however, was not satisfied and continued to badger
the donor for an even larger gift. The philanthropist stood firm and refused to
add to his already generous gift. Finally, the needy man was so exasperated that
he screamed at the rich man and said: "You are an achzor - a
cold-hearted, cruel person!" Calmly, the kind-hearted philanthropist responded,
"You are so right, my friend! I am an achzor; and if anyone should be
happy about it, it should be you! Because, if I were not 'cruel,' then I would
have already given all of my money away to the poor man who solicited me just
before you came, and I would have had nothing left over to contribute to your
cause!"
What can we learn from this
story? We are custodians of the resources that Hashem - the Compassionate One -
has placed in our possessions, and this story serves as a reminder that we must
share these resources with wisdom and common sense.
There is another related
issue that we need to mention: If one knows for sure that someone asking for
tzedakah is not truly in need, then we do not give tzedekah to such a person.
But when in doubt, it is better to err on the side of compassion. For Jewish
Tradition teaches that it is better to risk giving to an undeserving person than
to risk not giving to a deserving person. The honest people should not have to
suffer because of those who are dishonest.
There are some needy
individuals who are overly demanding, and instead of taking some steps to
improve their situation when they have the potential to do so, they prefer to be
passive. Letting such individuals know that there are limits to our giving,
whether it be on a material or an emotional level, may be the greatest kindness
we can do for them! For each human being, regardless of his life challenges, is
created in the image of the Divine Giver; thus, each human being has the inner
capacity to give to others. It is therefore not healthy emotionally and
spiritually for any person to constantly be a "taker." If through mistaken
compassion, we encourage these overdemanding people to remain "takers" and
thereby strengthen their passive role when they have the potential to help
themselves, we are doing them a disservice. It is therefore the highest form of
monetary tzedekah to help needy individuals to find a livelihood or to give them
a grant for doing meaningful work, so that they can become givers of monetary
tzedekah to others. And it is the highest form of emotional tzedakah to help
depressed individuals to discover their inner sources of strength, so that they
can become givers of emotional tzedakah to others. We also have to have
patience, however, and remember that helping people to change and grow is a
process, and one should not expect instant success. When we remember how hard it
is for us to change some of our own weaknesses, we can be more understanding and
patient with others.
In general, we should
listen to each other's pain in a non-judgmental way, and we should show empathy
and understanding for each other's problems. Nevertheless, we should not
encourage each other to indulge in self-pity and "kvetching" . a Yiddish term
for "whining." Deep down, we know that constant self-pity and kvetching is not
helpful, and we should therefore avoid this self-defeating tendency.
There are some people who
have had a "deprived childhood" and who spend the rest of their lives wallowing
in self-pity. They are bitter and angry at life, and they take their "revenge"
by constantly kvetching to others. There are others who have had a deprived
childhood who decide to take a different kind of "revenge." They decide to fight
back by becoming givers! Instead of kvetching to others, they ask good people to
help them develop new resources which will enable them to give to others. Thank
God, I have had the privilege of knowing such courageous and strong individuals.
They did not allow their past suffering to defeat them; instead, they used the
insights they gained from their suffering to become wiser and more compassionate
individuals. In this way, they were able to help others who had similar
problems.
The Jewish people have
experienced much suffering, perhaps more than any other people. We have
experienced exile, persecution, and attempts to annihilate us which greatly
diminished our numbers. In addition, there were attempts to destroy our spiritual
heritage and to replace it with Christianity or another religion. Yet through
faith in the God of history, and through fullfilling the mitzvos of our beloved
Torah, we developed communities which were known for their Torah wisdom,
compassion, and tzedakah. Instead of wallowing in self-pity after each expulsion
or attempted genocide, we began the difficult process of rebuilding our
shattered people, physically and spiritually. We are a stubborn people that
refuses to be defeated by suffering and death. We choose life again and again,
and this may be a reason why the Compassionate One chose us to bring life-giving
light to all humankind through the power of our own example.
Shalom,
Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen
(See Below)
Related Teachings and
Comments:
1. Further study of Torah
insights and laws regarding tzedekah can help one to develop the wisdom to know
when to apply the above teachings. In addition, one needs to be honest with
one's self and make sure that one's desire to impose a limit on tzedekah in
certain situations is not due to a trace of stinginess within one's self. For
further study on this theme, see Letter 74 of our series titled "Avoiding
Dependency." You can also find this letter in our new Hazon archives which
appears on our website:
www.shemayisrael.co.il/publicat/hazon/
2. The Steipler Gaon
related that when, as a young man, he came to the city of Vilna, he asked Rav
Chaim Ozer Grodzensky, a leading sage of the generation, the following question:
"When I go out to the synagogue here, there are many poor people sitting outside
and begging. Am I obligated to respond to entreaties of every one of these
beggars? Due to my very tight financial situation, this would be very
difficult." Rav Chaim Ozer responded: "When I lived in a small town before I
came to live in Vilna, I was very scrupulous to cheerfully greet every person I
met on the street. But since I came to Vilna I stopped this practice, because in
such a big city it's impossible to greet everyone. The same applies to tzedakah;
in a big city you simply cannot give to everyone."
3. The tradition of tithing
is known in Hebrew as "Maaser Kesafim." There is an English book titled "Maaser
Kesafim" (Editor: Professor Cyril Domb) which discusses the laws of tithing
one's earnings for tzedakah. It is published by Feldheim: www.feldheim.com
. The tradition of tithing is also
discussed in the book, "The Tzedakah Treasury" by Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Feuer,
which is published by ArtScroll: www.artscroll.com
. This book contains a wonderful
anthology of Torah teachings, laws, and stories regarding tzedakah. Some of the
information in the above letter has been adapted from "The Tzedakah Treasury" -
courtesy of the copyright holder, ArtScroll/Mesorah.
Hazon - Our Universal
Vision: www.shemayisrael.co.il/publicat/hazon/