What does wine have to do with kiddush and havdalah?

By the same token one can ask what does wine have to do with a b’ris, a wedding ceremony or bentching. Actually, the above occasions would have been just as permissible with or without wine. However, Chazal wanted to add a measure of majesty to these ceremonies and incorporated a b’racha over wine.

Wine is an important beverage, so much so that the b’racha over wine was modified from boreh p’ri ha’eitz to boreh p’ri hagofen. By praising Hashem for creating wine on these special occasions, we add dignity to the ceremony. Many Rishonim are of the opinion that drinking the wine is of secondary importance with the main issue being the reciting of the b’racha. [1]

For these reasons the kiddush or havdala is recited over a cup of wine.

What can be used instead of wine or grape juice?

There is a difference between the kiddush on Friday night and Shabbos day.

On Friday night: –

• one should make kiddush over wine or grape juice. [2]

It is permissible for the person reciting the kiddush to take a sip of the wine or grape juice and have someone else down the remainder of the required volume. However, it is desirable that the one who recites the kiddush should himself drink the required amount. [3]

If one is unable to take even a sip of the wine or grape juice, someone else should recite the kiddush and drink the required volume of kiddush wine or grape juice. [4] A person should not recite the kiddush if there is no intention of sipping the wine or grape juice.

If nobody is available to drink the wine or grape juice, or if one is not able to obtain wine or grape juice:

• one should recite kiddush over the challos (we will see later b’ezras Hashem how this is done), which is preferred to reciting kiddush over other beverages. [5]

If one is without wine or challos:

• one should recite the kiddush over “the drink of the land – cheimar medinah”. Rav Moshe Feinstein ztz”l writes [6] that “the drink of the land” is of such importance that it is offered to guests or consumed at meals and not (only) consumed to quench thirst. Beer and 100% fruit juices might fit the bill.

Summarizing the order of preference for the Friday night kiddush: wine or grape juice, challos, drink of the land.

On Shabbos day – the order of preference is different:

Wine or grape juice, the drink of the land, [7] challos.

Why is there a difference between Friday night and Shabbos day?

First we must appreciate that on Friday night, aside from reciting Vayechulu, we also recite the b’racha of kiddush (after the Boreh p’ri hagofen). On Shabbos day we do not recite kiddush, we only recite the Boreh p’ri hagofen. (Although many have the custom to recite various pesukim before the Boreh p’ri hagofen, this does not constitute kiddush and even if one was to omit them altogether, one’s kiddush would still be valid).

Based on that, on Shabbos day, if one does not have wine or grape juice and one commences the meal by reciting the hamotzi over the challos, the meal would appear to be the same as a regular weekday meal. This is because one commences a weekday meal with hamotzi. It is the b’racha recited over wine or grape juice, or at least over “the drink of the land”, that lends the meal its special nature of festivity.

The b’racha of kiddush on Friday night sets the meal apart from a weekday meal and consequently when kiddush is recited over the challos, it is still unique and different from a weekday meal.

How is kiddush recited over challos?

It is less complicated than it seems. [8] The host, household and guests wash hands before kiddush. The two challos are covered before Vayechulu and one places both hands over the cover during the Vayechulu. After Vayechulu, one exposes the challos, places one’s hands on them and recites the birkas hamotzi. They are covered again and the kiddush is recited while placing one’s hands over the challos. After the kiddush one breaks the bread and eats at least a kazayis. [9]

On Shabbos day, if no wine or “drink of the land” is available, one should say “æëåø àú éåí äùáú ì÷ãùå” before reciting the hamotzi over the challos. [10]

Is one permitted to drink or eat before kiddush?

The Shulchan Aruch says [11] that one may not eat or drink before kiddush, night or day. [12] This includes even a small amount of water. If one is thirsty, one should recite the kiddush in the regular manner over wine or grape juice and only then eat or drink. The reason for this is because the main time point to recite the kiddush is at the onset of Shabbos and therefore one should not eat or drink beforehand. [13]