Halachos for children cont.
We
were discussing the issue of preventing a child from
performing an issur.
What
is the halacha with regards to other people’s children?
The
Mechaber
holds that only a child’s father (and perhaps the
mother) need educate his child but one is not obligated
to educate another person’s child. The Rama cites
an opinion who holds that everyone is obligated to
educate everybody’s children. The Mishna Berura
sets the middle path with the Chayei Adam who
says that one must prevent other people’s children from
violating an issur d’oraisso but not an issur
d’rabanan. Although it is advisable to teach other
children as well that it is Shabbos today.
Accordingly, if one sees children in the street pulling
leaves off a tree
one should tell them that it is ossur on Shabbos.
If one sees children carrying sticks and stones to play
with, since muktze is only an issur d’rabanan
one is not obligated to ‘educate’ them.
Does it make a
difference whether the child is about to do an issur for
my benefit or for his?
We find a very interesting halacha.
The Shulchan Aruch
teaches us that if chas v’sholom a fire is raging
in a Jew’s property, and a gentile, on his own accord
offers to extinguish the fire, one may permit him to
extinguish the fire and he need not be prevented. The
reason is because the gentile has remuneration in mind
and it is therefore considered as if the gentile is
doing it for his own benefit.
In
contrast, a child is not of an age to realize that
extinguishing a fire will bring him personal benefit,
rather his sole intent and purpose is to make his senior
happy and therefore it is considered as if he is doing
it for the parent’s or adult’s sake.
Does that mean that
I must actually prevent him from extinguishing the fire?
Yes it does, because it is as if you told
him to extinguish the fire, which is obviously forbidden
to do.
Are we talking about
ages of chinuch (education) or all ages?
The Mishna Berura
says that this is not a matter of chinuch, rather
it is a problem that a child is doing something for an
adult and he realizes that this will please the adult.
Does this apply to
other cases as well?
It certainly does. Whenever a child is about
to do an issur in order to benefit an adult, that
adult must prevent him from doing so. This is true with
regards to turning on a light, turning on the air
conditioner etc.
Is there not a case
in the gemora where someone dropped keys in the street
in order for children to carry them?
Indeed the gemora in Yevamos
114a
talks about a case where someone found the keys to the
shul in the street on Shabbos, and he was told to
tell children to play in the vicinity of the keys and
hopefully they would spot the keys and take them home.
However, the Mishna Berura
explicitly explains that the children must not think
that the keys are someone’s they know and one may only
permit them (i.e. not interfere) when they take them
home thinking that they found keys to play with etc. but
if they intend bringing to the person who lost them they
must be prevented from carrying them home.
The
father, adds the Mishna Berura, must
prevent him whatever happens because of the obligation
to educate one’s child not to violate the Shabbos
even with an issur d’rabanan.
The
bottom line is that one may not allow a child to violate
an issur for an adult. If the child is doing it
for his own benefit, and it is an issur d’rabanan,
and you are not the parent, there is much more leeway.
Does the obligation
to educate only apply to Hilchos Shabbos?
Not at all. The obligation to educate one’s
child applies to all types of laws. The Mishna Berura
says
that if a parent hears his child speaking lashon hara,
unclean language etc. he must prevent and educate him
from an early age that it is wrong and forbidden. He
adds that if the child is permitted to speak whatever he
wants at a young age it is very difficult to train him
to guard his tounge at a later stage.
This
applies to eating non-kosher foods, as mentioned in the
last shiur, seeing things he is not supposed to, and
everything else that a Jew must adhere to. The younger
one starts to educate one’s child the more inbred it is.
On the whole, one should teach other children as well,
yet the main role of education is up to the parents.
Am I
obligated to make sure that my child hears havdalah?
Chinuch – education is a serious
matter and parents are obligated to educate their
children from a young age in the ways of the Torah.
The
Mishan Berura writes
that there is no set age for chinuch because each
child must be educated according to his individual
comprehension. If a child is aware of the Shabbos he
must listen to kiddush and havdalah. This
probably means that the child realizes that Hashem
created the world and rested on the 7th day
and hence Shabbos is different from other days.
It does not suffice that the child knows how to say
gut Shabbos, because a two year old can also say
gut Shabbos but it is meaningless to him.
Accordingly, before commencing with the Shabbos meal,
the parents must make sure that children of the
appropriate age are present to listen to the kiddush.