Summary

Shechem was looking for a way to entice Dinah to leave the security of her home. Our children are especially vulnerable to be influenced by the worst elements and lowest members of society. The truth is that the first step is for parents to be good role models and minimize their own involvement with the social media. The Jewish home must be a bastion of faith in G’d. We must make every effort to give our children a sound Jewish education. The long Friday nights should be a time when the family unites and can be utilized for constructive discussions on the parasha of the week and other Jewish subjects. We must make the Jewish experience appealing and exciting, both inside and outside the home, if we want our children to continue in the ways of our ancestors. The less we and our children socialize with the outside world, and the less we let it infiltrate our homes, the better is our chance that they will grow up as proud Jews and build their homes on the foundations of Torah and the commandments. The Torah teaches us to be careful not to cause sibling rivalry and protect the domestic peace to the best of our ability. When Joseph was enticed by the wife of Potiphar, he only withstood the great temptation because he remembered his father and the values his father had taught him. We pray to G’d that we shall be able to kindle the souls of our children with the light of Torah, and that it shall illuminate their way even when they find themselves in the darkness outside of the Jewish home.

Shechem abducted Dinah

In last week’s Torah Attitude we discussed how Jacob’s tribulations on the way back from Laban have a special relevance to our era where we are approaching the end of our exile. We mentioned how the abduction of Jacob’s daughter Dinah corresponds to one of our major problems, intermarriage and assimilation. In Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer (Chapter 38) it is related that Dinah usually stayed at home, as fitting for a daughter of our patriarch Jacob. Shechem was looking for a way to entice Dinah to leave the security of her home and come outside. He therefore organized that a troupe of girls performed with drums outside Dinah’s tent to attract her. The ploy worked, and Dinah came out to watch the entertainment. As soon as she came out Shechem abducted her and brought her to the palace.

Children vulnerable

Throughout the generations, parents knew how they had to watch and protect their daughters. It was unheard of that girls went out on their own without protection and supervision. Nowadays, we have let our guard down, and we are paying a heavy price for it. In today’s society it is not just a question of where do we let our children go. With the social media, we are all exposed to the entire gamut of ideologies and opinions, some of which are extremely harmful and hateful. Our children are especially vulnerable to be influenced by the worst elements and lowest members of society. Like Shechem, these people are only waiting to ensnare and lure innocent and naive minds into their evil web. We must constantly watch and supervise who they socialize with both in person and on the internet. Once they have been caught by something undesirable, it is extremely difficult to undo the harm.

Be good role models

The first step is for parents to be good role models and minimize their own involvement with the social media. It is not secret that many marriages have been broken because one of the spouses got addicted to chat rooms and similar sites, or even got involved with other individuals.

Jewish home and education

Obviously, that is not sufficient. The Jewish home must be a bastion of faith in G’d where every member of the household feels secure and have faith in each other. We must also make every effort to give our children a sound Jewish education. It is not cheap, but it is worth every penny.

Shabbos

During the winter months, the long Friday nights should be a time when the family unites and it can be utilized for constructive discussions on the parasha of the week and other Jewish subjects. Just like the Shabbos food must be prepared before Shabbos, and should be served in an appetizing fashion, so it is most worthwhile to prepare food for thought and present it in an interesting and engaging way. There are a host of Jewish educational games and children’s books to entertain the younger children.

Inside and outside the home

We must make the Jewish experience appealing and exciting, both inside and outside the home, if we want our children to continue in the ways of our ancestors. Just like the home is a vehicle on a personal level, so must the shul one belongs to be attractive both during services and events.

Less socialization

Just like we have to plan for Friday nights, we have to be on top of our children’s activities for Motzai Shabbos (Saturday nights). Who do they go out with and what are they doing? Thank G’d we do not live in confined ghettos nowadays, but this obligates us to create our own walls of protection and security. The less we and our children socialize with the outside world, and the less we let it infiltrate our homes, the better is our chance that they will grow up as proud Jews and build their homes on the foundations of Torah and the commandments.

Sibling rivalry

In this week’s parasha, the Torah describes the destruction that can be caused when there is a rift in a family. Joseph and his brothers were all great and holy people, and we have no way of fully understanding the motives behind their actions. However, the Torah relates to us what happened to teach us to be careful not to cause sibling rivalry and protect the domestic peace in our families to the best of our ability.

Joseph’s strong education

At the same time, the Torah shows the benefit of a strong Jewish education. When Joseph was enticed by the wife of Potiphar, he only withstood the great temptation because he remembered his father and the values his father had taught him (see Rashi Bereishis 39:11). Joseph had been brutally torn away from his family when he was seventeen years old. He was all by himself in the immoral society of Egypt. Nevertheless, he stood up to his heritage, and, due to his sound education, was able to choose right from wrong.

Kindling the souls of our children

This Sunday night we start to celebrate the eight days of Hanukkah. Our sages teach that the word Hanukkah is connected to the Hebrew word for education, “chinuch”. On Hanukkah we kindle the lights, preferably at the door or window, to illuminate the darkness outside. In the same way, we pray to G’d that we shall be able to kindle the souls of our children with the light of Torah, and that it shall illuminate their way even when they find themselves in the darkness outside of the Jewish home. May they never forget that they are the offspring of our patriarch Jacob, and continue to live up to their mission in life as proud Jews. In this way, they shall be a light also for the nations of the world, till the day comes when the entire world will see the light that will emanate from the Menorah in the Temple in Jerusalem, with the coming of Mashiach. Amen.

These words were based on notes of Rabbi Avraham Kahn, the Rosh Yeshiva and Founder of Yeshivas Keser Torah in Toronto.

Shalom. Michael Deverett