The Gemara then asks that it will not help to marry a wife in the new town,
because she would not be permitted to him for at least seven days, for the
excitement of the marriage causes the woman to see "Dam Chimud" and become a
Nidah right away. The Gemara answers that either the Rabanan informed the
women they intended to marry seven days ahead of time, or that indeed, they
did not actually marry them, but were only "Misyached" (did Yichud) with
them. Even though they were not actually married, nevertheless she was "Pas
b'Salo" ("bread available in his basket") which has a psychological effect
such that it prevents any nocturnal mishaps from occurring.
According to this final answer of the Gemara, what sort of "Pas b'Salo" was
it if the woman was forbidden to him because of Dam Chimud? (TOSFOS DH
Yechudi)
(a) RASHI (as explained by Tosfos in Yoma 18b) and the RAMBAM (Isurei Bi'ah
11:10) explain that the Gemara means "Pas b'Salo *l'Achar Zeman*," for she
becomes permitted to him after seven days. That is called "Pas b'Salo" since
he knows that she will be permitted to him in a matter of days. (That is,
she is "available" to him as far as the Isur of being with an unmarried
woman is concerned, even though she is not available to him as far as the
Isur of Nidah is concerned. Since it is natural for a Nidah to eventually
become permitted, she is called Pas b'Salo.)
(b) TOSFOS (DH Yechudei, and in Yoma 18b) and other Rishonim answer that the
Amora'im were only "Tove'a l'Yichud" -- they asked the women only to marry
them in order to be *Misyached* with them after marriage, but not to have
marital relations. Since the women were not expecting intimacy, they would
not see Dam Chimud. (On the other hand, if the Amora later decided to have
relations, there would still be no Dam Chimud, since the women were already
married to them. Dam Chimud is only seen when a proposal is made to a woman
who is *not* married. Tosfos here adds that since the Amora did not always
have relations with this new wife, she did not have any expectations and
therefore there was no problem of Dam Chimud.)
This also answers the previous question of the Gemara, which asked that it
is not permitted to have two wives in two different places lest it lead to
Mamzerus. Since he was normally only Misyached with the second woman, there
is no fear of Mamzerus occurring; if he would have relations with her, he
would bring her to his home town.
(c) The RI HA'LAVAN in Yoma and RA'AVAD (Isurei Bi'ah 11:10) explain that
the word "Yichud" in this Sugya does not mean "isolate themselves." It means
"set aside for themselves;" that is, the Chachamim would ask a woman not to
marry them, but to be "on call" for marriage. This was considered Pas b'Salo
since at any moment, the woman would be ready to marry him and move in with
him.
For reasons similar to those suggested by Tosfos, there is no problem of Dam
Chimud in such a situation. When he asks her to "be ready" for him, he has
not made a formal marriage proposal, so there is no Dam Chimud. When he
later proposes to her and marries her, she will not have Dam Chimud since
the proposal was, in a sense, expected and did not "catch her by surprise."
(According to this approach too, the first question of the Gemara is
answered, as described above in (b).)